Senior Farewell

Today's blog post is a tribute to the seniors written by Ellen Fox.  A senior herself, Ellen has dedicated her four college years to living out Tri Delta's purpose.  She is the perfect example of someone who came in unsure, but is leaving certain that Tri Delta has impacted her life for the better.  To Ellen and the rest of the seniors, thank you for your influence, support and guidance during your time here.  You were the original "best *darn* pledge class," and you will all be sincerely missed.  We love you!

"The very first impression I had of Tri Delta came from my mother. She grew up in California, so the SEC was like a foreign country to her. I’m also an only child, so we haven’t had an older sibling or family member come through rush, to navigate the unchartered waters. It was just me, basically coming in blind, and we were both slightly ambivalent about the entire process. Well, my mom more than me. But she did have one piece of rush advice that she imparted as we hugged goodbye through the car window in front of the Capstone dorm. This is what she told me:

“Ellen, just…. Don’t be a Tri Delta.”

Recruitment began and I was awe struck, like most, by the cheering, singing and noise. Yet I returned to this house round after round, because something intangible continued to pull me back, like a powerful magnet. I felt guilty the whole way along, of course, as I disobeyed my mom. So many guilt trips.  And on Bid Day, when I called her to break the news she sounded a little astonished at first. By the end of the call however, she respected my decision and trusted me, just like I trusted my own gut.

The senior class on their pledge retreat as freshmen in 2010

Fast forward to now: four years under my belt and about to graduate.  That intangible feeling of belonging carried me through pledging. But there was something deeper behind it, something that took me a while, but I have finally been able to put my finger on. Ironically enough, it was my mother who helped me articulate precisely how I feel about this… thing. This sisterhood, the bond.

North Carolina is my home state, born and raised. My mom introduced me to our state motto, “Esse quam videri.” In case your Latin is a little rusty, that translates into “To be, rather than to seem.” If I could bequeath this chapter a new slogan, that would be it. Because what you see when you spend time with Tri Deltas is what you get. And I’m honestly not sure I could say that about every campus organization.

Sure, everyone says they care about philanthropy. We all participate in incredible fundraisers and send our well-deserving causes the benefits of those events. But for my sisters and me, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is more than just a check in the mail. Caring from afar isn’t enough. It’s a privilege to take the ten-hour road trip to Memphis with your best friends. To steal a glimpse of a place that gives you goosebumps around every corner. To meet people who make cancer seem like the magical ticket to a hospital-version of Disney World. A place that consoles the inconsolable and comforts the continuously restless. We don’t “seem” like philanthropists, we are philanthropists.

Last January I travelled to London to study abroad for a semester. I left behind everyone I loved and everything that was familiar to jet off to a city I had never set a foot in before. I was less anxious about what I was getting myself into and more nervous about what I was leaving behind. It would “seem” like my friends would keep me in the loop about functions, about what I was missing. I’m so blessed to have friends who are better than that. I never had to wait to get homesick before they caught me up on everything that was going on here in Columbia. It was a constant system of support that never said, “You should have been here.” Instead, they wanted to know what I was doing, what new friends I made, my own adventures. When Skyping wasn’t enough, I received letters full of pictures and encouragement. And when letters weren’t enough, I actually got to hug one.

With no hesitation, a plane ticket was bought for Spring Break and my best friend was by my side once again. I don’t think she’ll ever know how much that visit meant to me, though maybe now she will a little bit. The women in this sorority may seem like the friends you had in high school, at summer camps or played sports with. But they are something completely different. They watch you turn into the person you’re supposed to be, they become your family when your family is back at home. And I’m so fortunate I’ve had these people to be that family for me.

Between recruitment and our media portrayal, many sororities feel this enormous pressure to convince people that these families are flawless. Not in this house, though. We know we aren’t perfect. In fact, if anyone started taking themselves too seriously, they would immediately get called out. I can guarantee that. I saw it happen more times than I can count. Because that’s what real families do. I also won’t stand up here and have you believe that our family is all smiles, all the time, because we aren’t.

This may come as a shock, but we don’t actually break out into synchronized song and dance every time we’re all together. We are composed of so many women from so many various backgrounds and we act like it.  Which means we butt heads sometimes, we may hurt each other’s feelings, and we’ll play tug of war on the big issues and the ones that won’t matter two hours later. But that’s what makes a family real and strong. At the end of the day, we’d rather disagree with each other than anyone else. We steadfastly love one another through those challenging times, and we move on. We move on to laughter, to eating embarrassing amounts of queso, to watch Bridesmaids for the eighteenth time and to love each other, like true sisters do.

My mom’s initial advice to not be a Tri Delta was all based upon what this sorority “seemed” like at her school. Today, she’s the one who helped me write this. You see, even my mom has been transformed by this sorority. But to fully understand it, you have to be in it. And once you’re in it, you really have to commit. That magnet that kept pulling me back when I was just a wide-eyed, clueless freshman was pure authenticity radiating through all of the people I met here. And it doesn’t stop after Bid Day. Here I am about to graduate college as a true testament to the long-term promise being a Tri Delta gives.

You all have defined what it means to be “sisters.”  To always be different, but always be loved.  I am so thankful for the time I’ve spent with each and every one of you.

Here’s to us.

DL,
Ellen Fox"